New Year, New You, New Boo

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I’m sure by now we are all knee deep in making provisions for our new year resolutions: working out, healthier eating choices, traveling, a well-endowed book reading list, maybe even moving past being a CME and going to church regularly (CME – Christmas, Mother’s day and Easter) – ok I might have dated myself with that one, but nevertheless, you get the picture I’m trying to paint.

About a week ago we were given another shot at a completely new 365, a new year, a new me, a new you, and maybe even a new… boo. Yes, I said it, a new boo. How often have we used the end of the year as an opportunity to get the courage to cut bait with someone that we should have let go of quite some time ago – to those who have no qualms about ditching a person during the holidays you are not included in this conversation and probably were able to save a substantial amount of money; hopefully got a jumpstart to that 52 week savings challenge that bombards our timelines the first few weeks of the new year. I digress.

Anyhow, let’s take a moment to discuss that “friend” who constantly threatens to end the relationship, or situationship, with their partner if they don’t shape up. It may be something on the surface such as gift-giving on holidays (first one is coming up in T-34 days fellas, you know the one that symbolizes that highly coveted “L” word, hint hint) or a perpetual difference in communication, maybe even a lack of boundaries or cheating. Whatever it is, superficial or a manifestation of deeper issues, I am going to suggest that these things don’t just happen to appear overnight, and nor do we (I mean your “friends”) immediately choose to make a mad dash for the hills; unless it’s so alarmingly dangerous. My point is that the red flags that ultimately lead to a break up are ultimately ignored at the onset. Everyone’s version of a red flag is different, and if you are anything like my “friend”, sometimes what you think is a blazing red flag the size of Wyoming (no I’m not Republican – I’m just trying to give you the most vivid image of a flag that can’t get any redder) you may second guess your gut instinct.

Why does this happen? There are things that can tend to complicate or override our better judgment, like love and sacrifice; but specifically, we ignore red flags because we become fearful of the true story. If we found out the truth, it would require us to change part of our lives. So, that may mean ridding your social media posts of #bae or #relationshipgoals for a while. We also ignore our intuition and engage in denial because of the pain it would cause; challenging your intuition is the most dangerous aspect of this because it suppresses our primal instinct. Lastly, we have been programmed into believing that relationships and marriage are “hard work”. While no relationship is easy, they by no means should be comprised of disrespect or damage to who you are as a person.

As we navigate our way through this promising New Year, bustling with exciting opportunities, if you or any of your “friends” fall into the category of being open to the possibility of a new boo, there is one reason why we ignore red flags that cannot afford to be dismissed: MOVING TOO FAST.

The problem with moving too fast is that it creates an imaginary sense of urgency that is merely exciting and impulsive, not based on sustainability or the reality of who the person truly is. So TAKE YOUR TIME. And with due time, your intuition should be able to spot a red flag like a pair of binoculars in the nosebleed section at the Alabama vs Georgia national championship game. Now, how crazy was that! (the game – not the red flag).

Happy New Year Keepers!

 

 

Photo Source:  Freepik

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Showing 2 comments
  • William

    What’s the date of our next event?

  • Jennifer Thompson

    I’ would like to know the date of the next event as well.

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