3 Ways to Know that You’re in a Healthy Relationship

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As I embarked upon tackling this subject matter, I did what any respected scholar would do–I went straight to Google!  Bless the people who created Google.

In the search field, I put, “Traits of a good relationship.”   I wanted to draw from the insight that experts have studied for decades.  Then, I drew from my own experiences. And what do you know–I discovered a few intersections of what I think makes for a good relationship and what the experts think as well!

So, from my rigorous research efforts, (LOL), please allow me to suggest three ways to know that you’re in a healthy relationship.

Let’s dive in:

1)  Respect:  This is a universal language.  Everyone is big on being respected. Everyone.  There’s no exception to this and by golly wow, this is highly important in a relationship.  I mean, there are some general respect examples that apply to everyone.  But in a relationship, those respectful areas are often time unique to the person that you’re dating.  And because we come from varying backgrounds, the interpretation of respect may be one way with a person and completely different with another.  What does this mean?  Well, one would be wise not to assume but to learn the other person by first talking and watching.  We will get more into that in a moment.  Which leads me to the second way of knowing that you’re in a healthy relationship.

2)  Communication:  For the sake of this blog, let’s define communication as the art of sending and receiving messages.  Often time we think of communication as someone talking.  And it is.  But it’s also listening in an ethnological way.  Let me break that down.  Ethnology is the study of various people and differences and drawing the relationship between them. This means those people who are ethnologists try to put themselves in the world of the culture and people they are researching and gain insight that is achieved from understanding the way they see the world.  If someone is trying to understand a culture and its people using their own foreign viewpoint and yardstick, it’ll never make sense.  A person that truly wants to get to know and love you won’t take this for granted.  This doesn’t mean that they will be successful at fully understanding your vantage point in the very beginning, but we all know when someone is committed to understanding our world.  True communication isn’t about getting our point across but rather making it our business to really understand how the other person views the world.  You know you have a good one when the person that you’re seeing is keen on listening to you–no matter how complex it may be.

By the way, this does NOT go for texting.  If you want to ensure that you misinterpret the other person and particularly when it’s a heated and emotional exchange, just keep texting.  

3)  Honesty:  Well we all know what this is, right?  This is when you’re not lying.  No one likes a liar.  Some of us can be a bit more sensitive to it than others!  However, true honesty occurs when the person that you’re with senses that it’s OK to be vulnerable.  And what makes a person willing to be vulnerable?  When he or she feels safe–safe in terms of knowing whatever the guarded area might be, there’s refuge and acceptance when you are around.  Now, this does not mean that a person can just do dirt and expect the person to just go along with it.  They are already violating one of the three healthy relationship steps in respect.  However, we are all fragile human beings.  We all have history and baggage that we are not proud of.  More times than not, we have spent significant time covering those flaws in hopes to gain acceptance and not lose credibility.  A person who wants to have a thriving relationship with you allows you to be human and provides space for imperfection. 

Now certainly there are other traits that we could explore but it is in my estimation that if you’re in a relationship and there’s a healthy dosage of respect, communication (listening more than talking) and honesty, your relationship has an amazing chance of withstanding any storm!

No charge–it’s all free.

 

-Kerry

 

 

Photo Source: Freepik

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