Dating is Not Only Essential for Meeting “The One” But It’s Essential for Self-Growth and the Sustainability of a Marriage

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All people have been created with the need and the urge to love and be loved and this is all made possible when two people come together and go through the dating process before they can eventually decide the direction the relationship will go. The majority of individuals long to have lasting relationships and dating is an important phase that each and every person needs to go through to feel complete and to satisfy the great need for love. Love makes everything look good and it is what keeps many going even though situations might not be as pleasant as they would like them to be. To find true love and a partner you are compatible with, you will need to date.

I want to once again share the definition of dating from Donald Bell, Keeping it100LA Board Member and Relationship Expert:

“Dating is a mindful approach to the birthing and maturation of a full partnership that exhibits the following traits: mutual fulfillment and sustainability”

I would like to emphasize specific reasons why dating can be a positive experience in your life to help you navigate the waters of self-growth and maturity and someday, even marriage.

Dating Can Be Fun! It can be a source of enjoyment and recreation. This is an end in itself because all couples want to relax and experience a form of entertainment together.

Dating is a Big Part of the Socialization Process: In other words, dating establishes social confidence, helps people learn social skills like manners, consideration for others, cooperation, and conversation. Dating involves learning about intimacy and serves as an opportunity to establish a unique, meaningful relationship with a person of the opposite sex.

Dating Helps With Personality Development: Personal identity is developed through relationships with other people. The key is successful relationships. When a dating experience is successful it helps to build our personality.

Dating Allows Us to Grow As Individuals When Things Do Not Work Out: Rejection is a normal and healthy part of dating — it implies that people have opinions, preferences and standards. We aren’t simply dating each other out of convenience, kindness, politeness or pity. Men and women need to discover the kinds of roles they find fulfilling in a close relationship. This can only be accomplished in actual situations with the opposite sex.

You might register rejection in one of two ways: a small sting or a soul-crushing blow. But as unpleasant as rejection can be, the only surefire way to avoid rejection is to never put yourself out there … which is a silly way to live. Everyone experiences rejection and realistically, you’ll hear it many times in your life, in very different ways from very different people. But just like most people, you will persevere.

 Dating Can Provide Companionship Through Interaction and Shared Activities: One of the worst of all human conditions is loneliness. Oftentimes, loneliness causes a person to feel depressed, impatient, bored, self-depreciation, and desperation as they feel panicked and helpless. One of the best counters to loneliness is the establishment of meaningful relationships with others.

Dating Helps You Find the Right Mate: A person can use dating as a process of filtering out or narrowing the field of eligible partners down to a specific few and eventually to one person who will be his mate for a lifetime. Let’s refer to the definition of dating from Donald bell that I mentioned earlier.

Dating Helps Us Prepare for Marriage:  Dating can help couples acquire the needed knowledge and skills for a successful marriage. For example, dating helps develop a better understanding of each other’s attitudes and behaviors, how to get along, and can increase your ability to discuss and solve relational problems.

Dating does not stop after you get married, in fact one of the most common pieces of advice that long term happily married couple give as to why their union hast lasted is that “We never stopped dating”.

Dating Helps Maintain Passion in Marriage: Of course it is not the only thing that is important. But passion is certainly an area in marriage that needs to be healthy and growing. And any lack of passion should never be excused as something that passes after you’re married a few years.

Dating is Good for Better Communication: Good communication requires trust and attention. The trust part is something you develop over time as you get more and more comfortable with being vulnerable with each other. But the attention part of communication can be there immediately by simply pulling away from all other distractions. That is why dating is good for communication, as long as you don’t let social media on your smart phones get in your way.

Dating Can Build a Better Friendship: Friendship always involves common interest. So the more you have dating experiences that involves activities or other people the two of you can enjoy, the better friendship you can build out of it.

Dating Sends the Right Message to Each Spouse: One of the critical areas of marriage that can be so easily overlooked is the area of making each other feel valuable. All of us have a need to feel like our life matters and what we do for others is noticed and appreciated. So when you take time to get yourself ready and to set aside important amounts of your time in order to be with your spouse, you are sending your spouse the message that they are important to you and that you appreciate the things they do.

Dating Sends the Right Message to Your Children: When you have children in the home it can be so tempting to always make your life revolve around them. It starts out that way right from the moment your children are born and before you know it your whole identity is wrapped up in being good parents. But too many people fail to realize that the best gift you can ever give your children is a healthy and strong marriage. So even if the children suffer some separation anxiety when you go out on dates, it will be good for them to know that your marriage is actually a very high priority to you.

So my message to my fellow Keepers reading this blog is, never stop dating unless you want to stop socializing with others and stop growing as an individual.

Enjoy the journey!

Just Keeping it 100,


Picture Courtesy of auragoldd

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