Stop Controlling What’s Not Meant to be Controlled

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I love technology.

I am giddy about the latest and greatest gadgets and resources at our fingertips.

My 10-year-old son came to me with great enthusiasm about discovering what Google can do nowadays. He said, “Dad—I can take a picture of something, and Google will find where that object is being sold in your city! Isn’t that cool?” 

And speaking of technology, it used to be that online dating was a secret method single people would use to find their mate or just someone to start dating. It was kept hush hush as if you would be embarrassed to let anyone know that you’re trying the virtual approach to find love—as if you’d think everyone would see you as being desperate. Today, online dating is as common as vaccination mandate protests and Halle Berry fans. And by golly wow—the online dating industry today is a multi-billion-dollar business that does not yield the results that people hope that it will. Don’t believe me? Ask anyone who’s been on a dating site. And of course—some people find their soulmate online, as one source cites that about 22 percent of online daters get engaged. My response—even a broken clock gives the correct time twice a day.

Though technology provides incredible conveniences to us daily, to the extent that we often wonder how we ever got along without it, it seems that we are now trying to leverage technology and other means of controlling and manipulating fate.

Or, in other words, we want to try to control things we don’t have control over. If you think that bombarding yourself with a pipeline of soulmate suspects will get you to your end goal, you could find the right person for you. However, for the nearly 100,000 people that have successfully connected with someone online, hundreds of millions have not—despite investing in a matchmaker, an online profile consultant, and trying every dating site there is. Only to arrive at the futility of it all and the investment of time that will never be returned.

I have an idea. It might come across preachy, but here it goes.

How about trusting God for your mate? Allow me to explain.

We, as Americans especially, will always say, “I’ll say a prayer for you,” or regarding a situation that is entirely out of our hands. We see it all the time. Things that medicine can’t resolve, or trying to get someone to see your point, we will say, “I’ll just say a prayer and hope for the best.” This is even the case when we DON’T follow through and pray. But the point is that we have no problem reaching for heaven when we know something’s out of our control. But we don’t allow God to get involved with our dating and mate-finding aspirations. We wouldn’t dare do that.

Consider this: We have all learned about God over our lives that God can do anything. But isn’t it interesting—although God is omniscient and omnipotent, He gives us free will to do whatever we want to do? God doesn’t force us to do anything. He might make it clear which direction you should go, but regardless of what information we get that might be obvious, we don’t always do what’s obvious.

Here’s the fastest way to get God’s blessings to come your way:

·       Don’t ask God for a spouse—ask God to prepare you to become a spouse. This means that if you spent time challenging yourself to which areas of your life you could refine and improve, you’d be amazed how that could turn things in your favor. Stop looking at the deficient of good available men or women—become what you want and watch what happens.

·       What is luck? You may have heard this before: It’s when hard work and opportunity intersect.

Now am I saying leave online dating alone?

Yes, I am, LOL. Over 30 percent of online daters are married anyway. I’d invest all that time that you’re surfacing the internet and invest it in yourself—making spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional refinements to your life will work for your better. Even if you can’t see it, it’s happening the moment you say that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

If you always do what you’ve always did, you’ll always get what you always got.


Picture Courtesy of @blackcouplerevolution

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