I Believe in Him!

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This past weekend, I enjoyed experiencing an event that brought the Black community together—a weekend of fun, food, friends, and musical performances from several exceptional up-and-coming artists. Indeed, it was a magical and memorable experience!

However, one artist stood out from all the rest—not so much because his talent was far superior to the other performers, but what grabbed my attention was the personal story that he shared between songs.
Admittedly, I do not recall the artist’s name. And though I didn’t know his age, I can say with some certainty that he was no older than 32 years old—if that!

Now this artist was a spoken word poet. His ability to string together words rhythmically to convey his passion and perspectives regarding various social issues, including his journey, was incredible. But the poetry set he performed about his personal life moved me—and—the audience as well; not so much the actual recital, but what he talked about before his performance of this piece.

Now you might recall where I mentioned he was likely no more than 32 years old—and in my view, that was a generous guess. He began to talk about his son—and what he was doing to raise him properly. Like me, I’m sure the rest of the audience thought, “This is wonderful—a young black managing his fatherly responsibilities to his child!”

One kid? Nope.

2? 3?

How about five children…yes, this young man was a father of five children. And at that point, you could feel the audience’s energy slightly shift as they thought (well, so did I) that he had several baby mamas.
Not so.

The spoken word artist only had ONE baby mama—and he’s married to her!

There was this sigh of relief amongst the listeners, but still, a feeling that despite being married to the mother of his five children, was he too young to have that many children?
Then he continued the story of his current life situation. He shared that they live with his wife’s mom, and his wife has a great job. Moreover, she told him not to take a 9 to 5 job and should focus his time on helping to raise the children and pursuing his passion.

His wife told him to pursue his passion despite having five children!

But here’s the kicker: when he said that he should be working to pay the bills—even working 50 percent of the time and the same for his artistic craft, her response was priceless: “If you put in 50 percent effort, you’ll get 50 percent results. If you put in 100 percent effort, we will all one day benefit from your focus and dedication!”

I tell you—give me a wife like that with that mentality or give me death!

Ladies-this does not mean you can’t have standards. This is not a commentary on those women who should just let men play video games all day, and they bring home the bacon. But it is a commentary on looking beyond the physical, the resume, and what is immediately tangible. Instead, it is a word of encouragement to prioritize who they are in terms of their purpose, knowing their purpose, and being insatiably committed to achieving it.

Last, this is not an endorsement to get a fixer-upper man. However, some men have had setbacks and are swimming their way out. Don’t just look at him and say, “Oh my God—look how far out he is in the ocean!” Instead, just say, “But he’s swimming closer to the shore—he will make—because I believe in him!”


Picture Courtesy of @blacklovecouples

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