Here is Part Five of My Five-Part Series, Sex and Intimacy. This topic is of major importance as there are so many definitions and interpretations of this topic and I wanted to offer some perspectives by discussing topics related to sex and intimacy that many of us have experienced, questioned, cherished, and even regretted.
This week’s topic is called Relationship Goals.
I always looked at the blissful marriage of my own parents as a relationship goal template: Until my father passed away last year, my parents had a wonderful marriage and were married for 53 years. I know there are many other happy couples in the world and the question always comes up: how do these couples manage to maintain happiness and stability? Well, it would take many blogs to tell everyone’s story.
I believe everyone who wants love and to be loved has relationship goals, whether you are single and looking for a relationship or happily married and looking to maintain happiness and stability. I also believe that everyone looks to maintain great sex and intimacy in a lasting relationship.
Just Keeping it 100, I cannot think of anyone who would not want fabulous sex as a relationship goal. I do not need to define what sex is, I will just say there are biological, spiritual, and many other definitions of sex and its meaning and importance.
There is a misconception in society that intimacy is the same as sexual intercourse between two people. While this is definitely a form of intimacy within a romantic relationship, intimacy between two people extends far beyond sex. Intimacy does sometimes, in fact, refer to sexual intercourse due to the nature of the act and the level of vulnerability that is needed to make love with another person.
Intimacy is a BIG relationship goal in my book and involves touch, sharing spirituality, having common interests, being emotionally open, and sharing experiences. Let me explain in more detail:
People who are physically intimate can be seen hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, making love, or engaging in any type of activity where there is a closeness and a physical interaction. As I stated above, this type of intimacy does not have to be sexual.
People who are spiritually intimate often share a common spiritual path and practice the different aspects of this path together. This could in many forms, such as praying together or going to church every Sunday. Whatever the spiritual path is that the two people share, it draws them closer together and makes them feel connected to the same thing.
Having Common Interests
Sharing common interests with someone, also called intellectual intimacy, can bring about intimacy. For example, think about your friends or your partner. To connect with them, you must have shared common interests, right? Surface reasons for liking a certain thing as well as the deeper meaning behind your love for that thing can both draw people together.
Being Emotionally Open
If you’re emotionally intimate with someone, you have no issue sharing the way you feel with them. These are the types of people that you are comfortable going to when you feel like crying or jumping for joy and the same type of comfort is reciprocated by the other person.
You don’t always need words, emotions, or physical touch to produce a sense of intimacy. Sometimes, being in the same place at the same time is all you need to feel intimate with someone. Experiential intimacy can take at a movie theater, at the top of a mountain, or even on the couch at your house. All that is needed to produce experiential intimacy is a feeling of connectedness at that location.
You see? Intimacy is so much more than sex! I believe there is no satisfying and healthy relationship without intimacy.
In conclusion, as I piece together all five parts of my Sex and Intimacy series, I hope that each part has been a wonderful and insightful journey in how we all can continue on the path to being Keepers and having lasting intimate relationships.
If you happen to live in the Los Angeles area, you can meet me and others as we discuss this topic and many other topics at our KeepingIt100 Summer Soiree on August 3, 2019.
You can purchase tickets through this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/keepingit100la-summer-soireeall-white-linen-party-tickets-63367242127
I wish you all a peaceful journey onward…