So what is “The Perfect Date?” Well, the definition of “The Perfect Date” that has been commercialized is a date in which a couple enjoys a nice dinner
at a restaurant, followed by a moon-lit walk and a perfect good-night kiss. Oh, and of course, chivalry is not dead…who wouldn’t want that, right?
But to be honest, I have had many dates in my life and the truth is, I can say that the perfect dates for me have been about the organic connection and getting to know the man that I am dating. It has been about the fun that I have had with the man on the date and how engaged a man is in the moment with me as well. So let me break this down even further:
A few years ago, I went out on a date with a gentleman who on paper would have seemed like a great date: he was accomplished with a great job, was part of a singing chorus, and enjoyed bike riding. He asked me out for dinner after we spoke on the phone a few times and I accepted. Our date was at a nice upscale restaurant in Los Angeles located in a place where we had other options for shopping and entertainment afterwards. I will Keep it 100: the date was terrible! While I was trying to engage in a “still getting to know you conversation” with this gentlemen, he ignored me almost the entire time and started talking to two women seated beside us who were showing signs of irritability on their faces because he kept chatting with them and ignoring me. The night ended early: I decided to take my meal home and while he walked me to my car I was thinking about how I would end my liaison with this gentleman for good. We said good night and I actually thought I would never hear from him again. He called me a few days later inquiring if I would be interested in going out with him again and I told him no. I decided to be honest with him and tell him I did not appreciate his disrespectfulness and wished him well in his journey of life.
So now I will share my idea of an example of a “perfect date” and it’s easy…I just experienced an example of a “perfect date” this past weekend with my boyfriend. As I mentioned, for me a perfect date is about the organic connection and having fun!
After I participated in the Keeping it 100 Webinar (which was a discussion on the Covid-19 Vaccine and the Pros and Cons for African Americans) my boyfriend and I decided to be spontaneous for the day. It was a beautiful day in Los Angeles on Saturday and so anything would have been fun given that Los Angeles has entered into the Orange Tier and eased coronavirus restrictions. One of the things that we decided to do was take a drive over to Hollywood and see if we could walk through Amoeba Records. For those of you who are not familiar, Amoeba Records is an independent music store that caters to music lovers of every genre and its an experience where you can listen, purchase, trade, and even watch live music performances (at least, before the pandemic). The Hollywood store has been a staple for years and just relocated to a new location and opened earlier this month. We got over to Amoeba and there was a line wrapped around the corner with a wait of about 45 minutes to get in the store…yikes! Well, we certainly knew that Saturday afternoon would likely be busy but we took the chance. We decided not to wait in line and hopped back in the car and just took a drive through Hollywood back over to the Westside of Los Angeles. We stopped and had an early dinner at a Pizza Parlor (not an expensive restaurant) and then “walked off” the pizza at a park and enjoyed a beautiful sunset. In my mind it was the perfect date: We had great conversation, teased and laughed at each other, had good food and just bonded wonderfully. I have been reflecting on this fabulous day all weekend and it certainly had me in a good mood all weekend.
The point that I want to make is that a man does not have to oversell himself to impress me. For me it really is about the organic connection: I enjoy a great conversation about anything a man is comfortable talking about. It can’t hurt to make a few jokes and it definitely doesn’t hurt to flirt a little in the process. Yes, as mentioned, I do like chivalry, but it does not need to be exaggerated, I want to be made to feel like a man is present and in the moment with me more than anything else.
Lastly, a perfect date for me is when a I know a man is being his true authentic self and allows me to be my true authentic self. It doesn’t get more perfect than that…
Just Keeping it 100,
Picture Courtesy of Image of 1Love